Sometimes it was like Tobey knew. Like he could see it in my eyes. The way he looked at me, when he came inside of me.
And I used that. To tell myself he wanted it too. That we had this secret unspoken agreement.
Sometimes I thought maybe he at least suspected it. Because I wanted him more now than before, and I wanted him to come in me more. All the time really.
And that was a little scary, because what if he told Lucy about that. And told Cait. Because I had to wait. And when it was done, then I could tell them. And they would be happy for me. For us. They could get married and Lucy could be the wife and he could be the dad and Cait and I could be the moms and we all could be together, we all had to be together and it sounds crazy now but it made sense then. But it was just one of my stories that I made up, but just for me this time.
And if he did know, or suspected, it was fine because he wanted it too because after all, he did come in me. And he would be on my side.
But they all would be of course.
But he wasn’t. And they weren’t.
Sometimes it was like Tobey knew. Sometimes I was absolutely convinced about that and I wanted to talk to him about it and sometimes I almost did.
Like one time, I came home and it was late and Cait and Lucy weren’t there and I went into the bathroom and I was tired and going to bed really, and Tobey was taking a bath and when I walked in he said “Hey,” and I said “Oh. Hi.”
And he said “Sorry, I just really needed a warm bath. Fucked up day.”
“That’s okay,” I said. “Can I join you?”
And I undressed and got in with him and I sat down with my back to him between his legs and I leaned back against him and he put his arms around me and I closed my eyes and I said “Tobe…” and he said “Mhm?” and in my mind I heard myself say “I want to have your baby. I’m trying to. Maybe I already am,” and I heard him say “I know. It’ll be perfect.”
But I didn’t say it. I didn’t say anything. And when he said “What, baby?” I started to cry. Just quiet tears running down my cheeks and he didn’t notice and I said “Nothing.”
And he pulled me closer and he kissed the top of my head and I took his hand and put it between my legs and he rubbed me slowly for a long time and when I came it was a slow, soft and warm orgasm that made my cheeks burn and my ears ring, and it felt like forever but the cloud around my head finally disappeared and I turned around so I was standing on my knees in the water and I said “Stand up,” and he did and his cock was big and hard and beautiful and I grabbed it with both hands and jerked it and then I put it in my mouth and as I sucked him off I ran my hands all over his body, and then I grabbed a hold of his ass and pulled him to me and took his cock deep down my throat and I pushed him away and pulled him back in and pushed him away and pulled him back and made him fuck my mouth like that, and I’m not a big fan of it really, I mean I like it sometimes but I’m not crazy about it like Lucy is for example, but this time it was so good and I gagged and choked and tears filled my eyes and it was like I was making him punish me and he said “Oh fuck!” and I could feel it grow and twitch in the back of my throat and I pushed him away and then I jumped out of the bathtub and dragged him with me into the bedroom and I laid down on the bed and he laid on top of me and put his cock inside of me and we were both soaking wet and with just a few thrusts he came and he looked into my eyes and I thought ‘You do know’, and I said “I love you” and then I came too.
And then one time , when it was just him and me at home again and of course those were the times when I really wanted to talk to him about it, those were the times when I felt I could tell him and he could let me know that he knew, and he was in the living room and I was in the bedroom on the bed just playing on my phone but I couldn’t concentrate so I kept getting Game Over, and so I sent Tobey a text even though he was just in the other room. “Hey. What are you doing?” and he texted back “Working on the Mac. What’s up?”
And I wrote “Wanna make a baby?” and I almost sent it, I really did. And why not? I could have just said it was a joke if I had to. And what if he said “Sure!”?
Maybe this was the best way to do it, the best way to say it. By texting it. It was definitely a lot less scary. My thumb actually moved down to the send button. But I didn’t send it. I deleted it and sent “Wanna fuck?” instead and he answered “Yes I do.”
And I quickly took all my clothes off and then I got up on all fours with my ass to the door and I closed my eyes and just waited and for a brief moment I thought ‘Wouldn’t it be great if it was just me and him? No Lucy, no Cait. No crazy past.’
I heard him enter the room, and then nothing. For a long time. I knew he was just standing there, watching me. We had done this before. And I loved it.
But this time he waited longer than usual and I could feel my pussy juices running down my thighs and my pussy was aching and my nipples were tingling but I kept my eyes shut and I swear I could have come like that, just from the feeling of him fucking me with his eyes. Then I felt him crawl up on the bed, and then nothing again. And I was dying. But I kept my eyes shut.
And then he put his cock between my pussy lips, without touching me anywhere or grabbing me or anything. All I could feel was the tip of his cock and the air around me and it was like the air itself was stroking every inch of my skin, feeling me up, and then he pushed it in slowly and I felt it bump into my cervix and still I wanted him deeper.
And it moved in and out of me and only I and the cock existed in the world and I was on the verge of a giant orgasm from the first thrust and it wasn’t easy but I kept it away and I wanted him to come first and I had to bite my lip till I could taste blood to make it so and then I felt it shoot out of him and I squeezed his cock like I was milking it, over and over, absorbing every drop and he moaned loud and then I couldn’t take it anymore.
But I kept my eyes shut like I was supposed to, until he had left.
Some women say you can feel it when it happens. I don’t believe that. But it was like it was something there, like something in me knew everything was ready for it and I could make it happen just by wanting it to. And maybe it wasn’t exactly then, maybe it was days before or days later but it’s like I do know exactly when it happened and Cait and Lucy were there too then and that feels so right.
Cait and Lucy and I were watching TV and Tobey was at the kitchen table with his Mac and we were getting ready for bed and Lucy said “Coming, honey?” and Tobey said kinda absent minded “Mm.. yeah I just need a few minutes, angel.”
And Lucy pouted, and then she took my hand and she took Cait’s hand and she said “Don’t be too long or we’ll be done,” and he just said “Mm…” again.
And the three of us went into their bedroom and undressed and Lucy laid down on the bed and Cait laid down on her right and I on her left and she pulled us to her and we both kissed her, and we kissed each other and kissing two girls at the same time is one of the most amazing things in the world, and we just laid there and kissed and touched each other for a while and then Cait got on top of her with her face between Lucy’s legs and her pussy in her face and they licked each other and I just watched them, touching myself and then Tobey came through the door and I guess if it had been me on top of Lucy right then, he would fuck Cait and if it had been Cait and me licking each other he would fuck Lucy, but it was Cait and Lucy and I was just laying there and so I made a ‘come here’ gesture to him with my finger and he took his clothes off and came to me and I spread my legs and grabbed his cock and played with it until it was hard enough and then I put it to my pussy and he pushed it in and he fucked me, and I spread my legs more and grabbed my knees and lifted them as high as I could and he was so deep inside and we kissed and just looked into each other’s eyes and then Cait and Lucy were done and they turned their attention to us and Lucy just laid there next to me kissing us both and Cait got up behind him and she put her finger in her mouth and spat all over it and then she stuck it in his ass, and he had his face in my neck and I had one arm around him and one arm around Lucy and I pulled them in so close and I looked down at Cait as I came, and she smiled and winked and blew me a kiss and she did something and Tobey groaned “Ohh fuuhhh…!” when he came.